Its not fun
by jessicaebirch
Summary: The day after New York city lit up with their appreciation for the Ghostbusters, Phil showed up on Erin's door and asked if he could take her back. Having literally been to the 'otherside' Erin decides to give it a shot, however, it may not have ended up being the best idea. Warning: mentions of abuse in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Erin woke up slightly groggy from the night before, after they had seen New York light up for them they decided to go out, walk the streets of New York and not have to worry about busting some ghosts. They flitted from bar to bar and drinks were always on the house, selfies were taken and autographs were signed.

Erin stumbled home in the early hours of the morning and crawled into bed still fully clothed. She woke up in the morning to the sound of her apartment door being hammered into. It probably wasn't as aggressive as her head made out. She hauled herself up and over to the door groaning with each step. She slowly opened the door to avoid its creak- she was surprised to see who she found there.

"Phil?" she questioned, rubbing her eyes as she did so. She hadn't seen Phil since the day he was rude to her outside the firehouse.

"Erin, baby, can I come in?" he asked. He was standing there clutching flowers and had a cheesy grin plastered across her face. Erin stood to the side as he came in. He sat down on the sofa and grinned. She looked at him and for a split second she was back before everything had happened, she was still working at the University, she was still with Phul and Ghosts were fictional. Suddenly it was back to present day, she looked down and saw she was wearing Holtz's MIT sweat-shirt and jeans.

"Erm, let me just get cleaned up. Give me five minutes." Erin ran to the bathroom. She hurtled around, quickly showering, putting on makeup and pulling on clean clothes. She wasn't sure why she was so bothered, he has been horrible just ditching her after she lost her job but something about Phil made her heart skip beats and she couldn't help herself. after a tight four minutes, she emerged from the bathroom and sat beside him on the sofa- her heart going crazy.

"You changed your hair," he said. Erin's hand went instinctively up to her vibrant hair. She laughed to herself as the image of Abby with shock white hair flooded into her memory.

"Look, baby, I just wanted to say what an idiot I have been, you were right about all that ghost stuff and I shouldn't have left you," he thrust the flowers into her arms. She thought about what she should say, she knew she shouldn't be so spineless- he had hurt her and shouldn't be allowed back in this easy. She thought about what the other Ghostbusters would say. Patty would have none of it, he would be out on his ass without a second thought, Abby would make him feel as small as he had made Erin. She couldn't imagine what Holtz would do because Holtz was unpredictable. His hand was on her thigh, she wanted to both shove him off and grab him and take him right there on the sofa. Turns out she could do neither.

"Let me take you out on a date tonight?" he said as he stood up and started heading to the door. Erin found herself nodding before she even thought about it properly. Then he was gone. She folded in on herself and told herself she was an idiot, however, at the back of her mind she was excited too. She took her time in putting the flowers in water and then started her venture to the firehouse. Phil was in her mind the entire time, her heart beating irregularly.


	2. Chapter 2

When she got to the firehouse, Holtz was already there- looking slightly worn from the night before. She grinned tiredly at Erin then immediately frowned.

"What happened?" she asked abruptly, putting down her wrench. Erin's mouth fell open and she thought about feigning innocence but she decided on just being honest. She took a deep breath.

"Phil," she whispered. Holtz shook her head.

"I love you Gilbert but you are an actual wrench," she said, flicking at the wrench on the desk.

"The phrase is a tool, Holtz..."

"I like to be specific." Abby and Patty walked through the door, looking as if they hadn't even slept.

"Did you two even go home?" Erin asked, hoping the conversation would be deflected onto the fragile states of their other two team members. Last night they parted ways at the last bar on the street, Erin was definitely heading home- Holtz had claimed to be but no one really believed her. Abby and Patty said they were going to hit one more bar and then they would head home. It looked like that soon was soon ten.

Patty shook her head and Abby groaned against the refrigerator door.

"We kind of found a college party, they had seen the whole thing and things got a little crazy," Patty told them- she was excited and exhausted in equal measure.

"In other exciting news, Erin slept with Phil," Holtz said without even looking up. Erin fell over her words and looked at her hung-over friends.

"You slept with him!" Abby gasped.

"Uh uh, nope," Patty said, she held up her hands and shook her head.

"I didn't sleep with him..." she mumbled.

"But you thought about it." Suddenly Erin was feeling flushed, heart beating fast and she felt all clammy.

"Jeez, Erin it's okay I know all you did was accept flowers..." Holtz said getting up and embracing Erin in a hug. Erin relaxed slightly into the shorter woman's shoulders. She wondered how Holtz always sussed her out so easily.

"I accepted a date proposition too..." Abby rolled her eyes.

"Do you want me to tell you all the reasons why this is a bad idea?" Abby asked quietly as she took Erin off to the side. Up until then it had been light hearted banter, Erin felt a little uncomfortable sure, but Abby was concerned. Phil wasn't a good guy.

"He wasn't nice to you Erin, he left you when things went a little off path, he didn't believe you, he made you feel this big!" Abby held up her thumb and next finger and made the smallest shape she could. This wasn't news to Erin, she knew all this. But that couldn't stop her looking forward to the evening.

 **...**

Phil waited for her outside of the firehouse, he offered her his arm and Erin gladly took it. She always liked it when he would do old timey stuff. They walked into the restaurant they always used to go too, the owner smiled when he saw Erin.

"Miss Gilbert, your back!" he announced, he hugged her gently and guided the couple over to the best table. Phil pulled a chair out and pushed Erin in. He sat across from her and smiled. The owner came back over and took their order. Phil ordered for the pair of them. Erin stuttered a little as she kind of wanted the pizza Holtz had shown her but Phil had ordered their old usual of pasta. When the food came she tried to push it to the back of her mind and thanked Phil for making a good choice.

After dinner, Phil walked her back to her apartment. He linked his hand around Erin's waist and held her close to her, which if anything just made it kind of difficult to walk. Suddenly a young boy and his father passed them on the street.

"Dad! Dad! It's a Ghostbuster, Dad!" he shouted. Erin spun around and smiled at the boy.

"Can I say hi?" the boy asked. The father shot a look at Erin, Erin peeled herself away from Phil and knelt down in front of the boy.

"Hi," she whispered as she took his hand.

"Hi...my name is Milo," he said.

"I'm Erin," she said quietly.

"I think you're really cool," he told her. Then he flung himself at her and hugged her tightly. Erin fell backwards onto the pavement and hugged him back. His father snapped a few photos and proceeded to tell her about the night the barrier broke.

"Milo wouldn't go to sleep, we have a flat really near where the main battle took place, he watched the whole thing!"

"Yeah, we best get going," said Phil. He put his hand under Erin's armpit and pulled her up. She managed to say a goodbye to Milo and his Dad before Phil dragged her away.

"You're welcome babe," he said once they turned the corner. Erin frowned.

"That must get annoying," he assumed.

"No...not...-"

"So are you going to invite me in?" Phil asked, they had reached Erin's apartment door. He gently pushed Erin up against the door and kissed her.

"I've got work early in the morning, so maybe another time?" Erin said meekly. Phil took a step back, he looked a little hurt. He quickly changed his expression, smiled again and kissed her again. Erin shut the door behind him and sighed. Suddenly, her phone started to ring, it was Holtz.

"Holtz," she said as she began to climb the stairs up to her flat.

"Okay tell me everything!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Erin told Holtz everything, skipping the part where Phil abruptly stopped her from finishing her conversation properly. Holtz sounded dubious in her replies but not nearly as dubious as Erin sounded in telling her.

"Erin, you okay- you don't sound so sure,"

"I'm okay...I'm just tired, see you in the morning?"

"Roger that." Erin clicked off her phone and sat down on her bed. She stared at the wall for a little bit and thought. Suddenly, her phone flashed up. It was Phil.

 ** _Loved tonight, can't wait to see you tomorrow evening, I'll bring wine xx_**

They hadn't arranged a second date but butterflies in her stomach told her that she really wanted to see him again despite his few little flaws. She texted him back quickly.

 ** _It's a date, see you at seven xx_**

 ** _..._**

Erin spent the entire day with her head in the clouds fussing about what she would say to him, what she would wear and how she would do her hair. she may have been slightly preoccupied...Holtz was painting the proton packs a new shiny silver, she had headphones in and didn't see Erin walking past. She abruptly turned, effectively elbowing Erin in the stomach and coating her in silver paint. Holtz ripped out her headphones and laughed whole heartedly at Erin. The other two came in from another room and too almost wet themselves laughing. Erin shook off the worst of the paint and went into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

She had a quick shower and dried herself off, she spent time drying and styling her hair and putting on her makeup. She exhaled loudly and looked at herself in the mirror. Patty, poked her head around the door.

"Baby...don't you have a date?"

"Yeah at seven," Erin said as she fiddled with her fringe.

"...baby it's eight," Patty said quietly. Erin gasped and looked at the clock on her phone."

"Shit!" he said. She ran past Patty and fled home. She couldn't see Phil on the doorstep. She quickly let herself in and ran up to her flat. She walked in and was about to dial Phil's number when she saw him sitting on her sofa.

"PHIL WHAT THE HELL!" she yelled, her phone fell to the floor. She flung her bag down and scooped up her phone which thankfully wasn't broken.

"You were late," he said defensively.

"So! You shouldn't have let yourself into my flat!"

"I knew where you keep the spare key."

"Phil you sh-"

"You kept me waiting," he said, he sounded angry. Erin took a step back.

"Okay, fair enough...I forgot I'm sorry,"

"Oh so now that you're a big clever ghost hunter your suddenly above me, above everyone, you can just come and go as you please."

"What like you ditched me when I lost my job," Erin shouted, suddenly her filter was gone.

It happened too fast for Erin to comprehend what was happening. Phil flew off the sofa, grabbed Erin's wrists and pushed her up against her door. For the second time that night her phone fell to the floor. He jabbed his forearm into her neck and leered into her face. She coughed and spluttered- she couldn't breathe.

"Shut up," Phil scolded.

"Phil..." she spluttered, she had intended it to be a warning but it came out like a plea.

"Say you're sorry," he hissed into her ear. Erin just stared at him. He pushed harder so her head slammed against the door.

"Sorry," she whispered. He smiled and kissed her. Erin tried not to whimper, then he stepped away from her.

"So, wine?" he asked. Erin's mouth fell open but he was already pouring a glass.


	4. Chapter 4

Phil had stayed over, he acted like the whole pushing Erin up against her door thing hadn't happened. They watched three movies, Phil made Erin sit against him- like she used to. He massaged her back and poured wine down her gullet. She knew what he was doing, he was trying to make her forget about what he did. She tried hard not to be naive but part of her was almost thinking the door thing was worth it for all the attention it got her afterwards.

In the morning she woke up. Phil was gone and Erin hated herself. She got out of bed and groaned as her head began to pound. There was a note on the coffee table, Phil saying how much fun he had and that he looked forward to seeing her again. Erin shoved the note off the table and walked into the bathroom, she squinted in the harsh light and then gasped.

There were three distinctive bruises, one on her neck, two on her wrists. She ran her hand over the bigger bruise on her left wrist and winced. Her first instinct was to hide it, cover it up, her second instinct was to call Holtz and tell her what happened. Her third instinct was just to go back to bed, nurse her hangover and pretend that none of this was happening. Then she thought she was overreacting, she pushed her eyes away from the bruises and told herself that she was okay.

She picked out her black turtle neck and pulled it over her head. It stretched up her neck and covered the bruise that resided there, it stretched down her arms and hid the bruises there also. She walked to work, her mind played the events of last night over and over again, she retaliated by playing the wine and the movies memory over and over again until she had practically convinced herself that's all that happened. She pushed the door of the firehouse and went up to the main office.

"Hey baby, how was last night?" Patty asked. Erin smiled.

"It was good, we had wine, watched movies- like we used to you know," Erin replied. Patty smiled, Erin could tell she was trying hard to be on board with it.

"Good baby, that's great!" Patty said as she embraced Erin tightly. Erin bit down on her tongue to stop a whimper escaping as Patty placed unknowing pressure on her neck. Erin hugged Patty back and hoped she wouldn't suspect anything. Erin prayed for a bust so she could just forget about stuff for a couple of hours.


	5. Chapter 5

As it turned out Erin's prayers were answered. A few hours later Erin and the rest of the Ghostbusters were out on a bust. Erin's head was so in the busting game that she failed to notice a staircase around the corner.

"ERIN!" Abby called as she launched herself at the ghost and lost her footing. Patty jumped down the staircase after she picked Erin up slightly and placed her head on her knees. Erin was dazed but unhurt which was a miracle considering she looked like she hit every step on the way down.

"I got the ghost!" Holtz called. Erin rolled her eyes.

"Hey that was my ghost," Erin whispered.

 **...**

About an hour later Erin was in Phil's car in the passenger seat leaning against the window. She was still reeling from the tumble she had taken. Phil drove to his house.

"Why are we here?" Erin mumbled.

"I need to look after you don't I," Phil said as he parked the car on the drive. He took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. He opened up the passage side, Erin fell against him. He placed one hand on her back and one underneath the crook of her knee. He lifted her up with ease and carried her out of the car. He kicked the door shut behind them and got Erin safe inside the house.

Erin mumbled some inaudible words as Phil laid her down on the sofa.

"Bath I think, that should make you feel better," Phil said as he reached down to Erin's shoes.  
"I just want to sleep," Erin said as she tried to catch his hands.

"I insist, a bath always helps." Phil proceeded to work Erin's jeans and underwear off. He then pulled her turtle neck over her head, he ran his hand across the bruises he found underneath the jumper.

"Ouch, those stairs are a bitch," Phil said as he unclasped her bra. Erin simply stared at him and let him pick her up once more to carry her through to the bathroom. He put her in the unfilled water and ran the taps. It was severely awkward just sitting there and waiting for the water to painstakingly rise. He sat on the edge of the bath and chatted away to her. Erin was fighting hard to stay awake.

After her bath, Phil helped her out and gave her one of hi t-shirts to wear. Erin frowned.

"Where is all my stuff?" she asked. She had several pyjama sets and sweat pants from when they were together, she hadn't got round to picking them up yet. Phil shrugged.

"I got rid, I thought this was over," he said as he pointed between the pair. Erin tugged down on the t-shirt that just grazed the tops of her thighs.

"You look beautiful," Phil whispered. Erin's heart started to beat irregularly again and then she smiled. Phil took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. Suddenly Erin got very worried, she really didn't want to have sex but she knew that telling Phil 'no' might upset him too much. Thankfully, all Phil did was curl up beside her and watch as she fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Erin woke up at the crack of dawn, Phil was draped over her and hugging her close to his chest. She tried to wriggle out from underneath him without waking him but he wasn't budging. Erin assessed her injuries, she felt a little achy from the floor but not too bad, maybe the bath had helped. Erin lay there and soon fell back off to sleep. When she woke up a second time Phil wasn't there, she could hear him in the kitchen. She looked around the bedroom, the room that once was almost hers. She and Phil had been discussing moving in together before everything changed. Erin was reluctant to give up her apartment, Phil's home was nice but it always felt too much like a showroom and not somewhere where real people lived.

Phil came back through to the bedroom balancing a tray of breakfast on one hand and carrying a jug of orange juice in the other. He set the food down at Erin's feet and poured her a drink.

"Thanks for looking after me and letting me stay," Erin said as she took the glass from him.

"My pleasure baby," he whispered, he put his hand on her neck and tipped her head back. She winced as his fingers brushed past the angry bruise there. He kissed her firmly.

"I rang Abby and told her you wouldn't be coming in today, you need to get your strength back up." Erin winced and put her drink down on the side.

"You're not really in a position to make that call Phil," she said, nervously tugging at the loose thread on the hem of Phil's t-shirt.

"I was only think-"  
"I'm not a child Phil, I can think for myself," Erin said a little louder than before. She looked him in the eye and swallowed when she saw anger there. Phil threw his glass at the door, it shattered and orange juice bled into the wood.

"Phil!" Erin yelled as he flew towards her on the bed.

"No! This needs to stop," she screamed. Phil paused and smirked.

"What needs to stop, Erin?" Erin breathed heavily and held her hands out in front of her to put up some line of defence.

"This...I'm not your punching bag," her voice had lost the temporary power it had gained, she was back to whispering.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to grow a spine," Phil hissed as he roughly took a hold of her wrists. He squeezed down on the bruises there and Erin cried out. He fell onto of her as she writhed in his grasp.

"Why are you doing this?" she pleaded. The answer shocked her, she didn't realise he was so petty...and insane.

"I didn't like seeing you prosper, you're mine and you needed to be put in your place," he smirked. Erin gasped and kneed him. His grasp loosened and she managed to get off the bed and run to the orange covered door. She ran through and headed to the front door. Her heart was in her throat and her knees were shaking. She reached the door. Locked. She screamed and punched the door before looking for the key. She heard Phil groaning and coming towards the sitting room. She panicked and looked around the room. She saw a pile of her stuff in the corner, her phone on top. She launched herself at it and quickly found Holtz's number. It started to ring as Phil entered the room. Erin put her phone down on her pile and moved away from it. She heard Hotlz's voice as Phil's fist connected with her jaw.


	7. Chapter 7

"Erin!" Holtz yelled into the microphone of her phone. All she could hear was Erin screaming, Phil muttering and the distinguished sound of furniture breaking. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to imagine what Erin was going through.

"Baby?" Patty had just walked into her section of the lab.

"He's hurting her Patty, we need to get to his house," Holtz pressed the phone into the creak of her neck and looked around the desk for the keys to the ecto. She couldn't decide whether the screams were good or bad. Of course, it meant that Erin was in pain but at least it meant she was still breathing.

"Wait what?" Patty said catching Holtz on the arm.

"Phil," Holtz whispered as she pushed the phone to Patty's ear. Patty's eyes prickled when she heard the attack on the other side of the line.

"I think she rang me as it started. We need to go and help her," Holt said heading towards the door. She cursed herself under her breath, she knew Phil was no good...could she have stopped this?

"Baby you get in the car, I'll go and get Abby- meet you outside. Patty ran up the stairs as Holtz jumped down the fire pole. Holtz jumped into the ecto and impatiently tapped on the steering wheel. She wanted to just go herself, she would get to Erin quicker but her vision was red and who knew what she would do when she got her hands on Phil.

 **...**

"PLEASE STOP!" Erin screamed as Phil's fist came down on her for the...well she had lost count how many times she had been hit. She couldn't breathe properly, she suspected a cracked rib.

"You...need...to...be...put...in...your...place!" Phil hissed. Each word earned Erin a fist in the gut. Then he spat in her face. Phil brought his fist up again and brought it down, Erin rolled slightly out of the way causing Phil to punch the wooden floor. He screamed and cradled his hand. Erin took this opportunity to throw herself on her knees and attempt to crawl away. Every muscle screamed at her as she did so but she pushed through the pain. Phil nursed his hand before shifting his weight to grab Erin's ankle. She yelped as she was tossed back. He pinned her down by her bruised wrists and leered in her face. Erin shifted uncomfortably beneath him and prayed that Holtz would get there soon. She twisted her head around to look at the phone, the call was still streaming and thankfully Phil hadn't seen its bluish light from the corner of the room.

 **...**

Abby jumped in beside Holtz as Patty slid in the back. Holt immediately drove off the drive, the brakes screeching as she did so. Abby picked up the phone that was still screaming. Holtz shook her head.

"Did you suspect?" she asked. Both Patty and Holtz shook their heads but looked guilty all the same.

"Me neither...Jesus."

Suddenly the phone went quiet, Erin wasn't screaming anymore. Holtz pushed down on the accelerator as Abby gave her directions to Phil's house.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin wasn't screaming anymore because her tears had been replaced by crying. She cried out of fear, pain and shame. She cursed herself for allowing herself to get into this state, back with him. The second she heard the zipper of his pants she cried harder. She screamed at him to stop, she tried to cup his face to make him look her in the eye and hopefully see what he was doing to her. He shook her off and punched the side of her head causing her head to snap back and hit hard off the floor. Her vision went blurry at the edges, she turned back to face the phone to check the light was still on and then she fell unconscious.

 **...**

"That one," Abby shouted as she pointed at Phil's drive. Holtz swung the car around and squeezed tightly on the brakes. She jumped out and was running without looking back. Patty and Abby were behind her. Patty tried hammering on the door while Abby went around the side of the house to peer through the window.

"Oh my god..." she whispered when she saw Phil on top of a seemingly motionless Erin. Holtz joined her and saw red. She spun around and picked up a rock from the path they were standing on. she struck the window three times and it shattered. She didn't even wait to brush some of the glass up for a safe passageway, she jumped through the window and straight onto Phil's back. He rolled off Erin slightly, Abby was quick behind Holtzmann and managed to gather Erin up in her arms. Patty saw the pair in the room and too found the broken window. Patty clocked Holtz beating Phil, whose buckle was undone, she swallowed and peered at Erin- she seemed fully clothed still. Patty sighed and bent down beside Abby.

"Is she okay?"

"She's messed up pretty bad but breathing," Abby said, her hand still on Erin's pulse. Patty nodded at Holtz who wasn't tiring on her attack. Abby nodded and shifted Erin over into Patty's arms. Patty cradled Erin close and picked her up with ease. As Patty carried Erin to the car, Abby coaxed Holtz off Phil.

"Holtz...Erin is okay but we really ought to be getting to a hospital?" Holtz stopped punching but still used all of her weight to hold Phil in place.

"We can't just leave him," she said breathlessly. A few seconds later a battered Phil was tied to the radiator.

"Good thing I was a girl scout," Abby said proudly as she tied a complicated knot tightly. Abby and Holtz left the house and went out to the car. Erin was still out, she was in the backseat leaning against the window.

"I'll drive," Abby said as she took the keys from Holtz. Holtzmann slid into the back and pulled Erin across her lap. Abby and Patty got in the front and they drove off.

"I'm so sorry," Holtz whispered into Erin's hair as she reached for her hand.


	9. Chapter 9

Erin was in a hospital bed with her three friends surrounding her. Holtzmann hadn't let go of her hand the entire time. Erin hadn't woken up yet.

"Okay thank you," Abby said into the receiver of her phone.

"Phil has been picked up by the cops," she informed the other. Holtzmann didn't even register her speaking, Patty nodded for the pair of them. Suddenly, Erin's eyelids flickered and she grimaced. She slowly opened her eyes. Hotlzmann stood up and knelt on the bed beside her.

"Hey," she whispered as she used the hand that want clinging onto Erin to brush stray pieces of faded orange fringe from Erin's eyes.

"Oh thank god..." she said once she had sussed out where she was and who she was with. Patty stood up and told her what had happened as Holtz and Abby just stared at her.

"I'm so sorry I didn't realise," Abby choked out. Patty put a comforting arm around her but Erin was shaking her head.

"I don't even think I realise properly," she said. She let go of Holtz hands and tried to push on her arms to sit up. Deciding it was a horrendous idea she lay back down and massaged her stomach slightly.

"He didn't...did he?" she whispered. Erin couldn't bring herself to say it. Abby rushed forward and clung to the sheets beside Erin.

"No...I think we got there just in time." Erin sighed and nodded.

"I'm such an idiot..." she said as tears began to spring from her eyes. Three bodies piled onto her, gently as to not place pressure on her many many bruises. They stayed like that for a while and Erin wondered what in god's name she would have done if she hadn't called Holtz when she did. After a few hours, Patty and Abby went home. Holtz wouldn't budge but she flirted with the night nurse so she could stay. Erin was thankful, she didn't think she could face being on her own for a while. Holtz scoffed.

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight again Gilbert you've got another thing coming."


End file.
